processing an ugh

James -

Meta: intentionally vague, sticking to my own feelings and self-analysis

I received an email that induced an unpleasant sensation when I read it. A few thoughts about what produces that particular qualia.

  • A "ugh field" effect from the language, independent of content
  • why? "false front" effect - thinking that I'm likely being given manipulative insincerity (in the Radical Candor vocabulary)
  • why? Careful wording, a precise particular tone that strikes me as defensive, political-or-PR
  • B being surprised at a negative conclusion - frustration at predicted outcome
  • why? this backs away from what I thought was a win-win outcome, will trigger more heat and strife all-around
  • C being surprised at a premature conclusion - relational letdown
  • why? thought there was a partnership on this topic, this reveals other party doesn't see it that way. How do they see it? ... As something they have to do, that they own, that's not worth doing if they don't control it?

What's the strength of my possible projection-storytelling onto the situation? Feels possibly high – but it's high because of an extended pattern – but that pattern hasn't been made explicit. I guess this would be the time to change that.