feeling appreciated

It's been about 5 days now of publicizing my departure, first internally and then externally. I've gotten the "so how does it feel?" question a few times, and interestingly since I did a lot of processing over the last few months already, nothing big has hit me emotionally about the separation itself.

What I have been feeling is the experience of waves of well-wishing and gratitude washing over me as this has rippled outward. I've got about 17 pages of internal emails and comments from my last few days of work, and a bunch of email addresses, which I look forward to reading and responding to more deeply soon. The emoji love from the TEEA++ ethics community. Hanging out online with a few dozen people on Friday. The newsletter subscribers and the thousand people that have clicked through to this website from the socials.

In one sense, I already knew it was there, but I've been letting myself feel it as it comes. It feels satisfying, and validating, and bittersweet, and humbling, and honoring. I've got a pride-is-bad protestant-humility habit still within me, so I've been doing my best to accept the appreciations instead of deflecting them.

Still, it's complex, as a lot of things are. I've received a lot of praise for taking a stand, resigning on principle - and it's not untrue, but has always been less about heroics and more about privilege for me. I may be unusual, but my ethics are not: I'm sure a lot of people, given my circumstances, would have done as much or more to stand for their values of equity and compassion. So I don't need kudos, though I'll try to accept them.

I'm much more excited when I think about what's next for me. Figuring out what it looks like, and how to define and describe it, is going to be the 0th order project! I look forward to having lots of conversations to work it out in part by resonating with, and bouncing off of, other people, so if you're curious, please reach out!